never

I will never get to see how you turned out.

The person you are now will be unknown to me. Had we passed by each other on a crowded place, I will not be able to recognize you. You will be just another face in the crowd.

The person you are now will be someone I can’t predict. Years can do a lot to a person. Distance has surely changed you.

The person you are now might be smarter. More confident. Braver. Or the opposite of all those. I will never get the chance to find out. You will henceforth forever be the question mark I’ll never get an answer to.

Are you taller? Have you gained weight? Your skin, is it paler? Do you still smile the same way? Your voice, has it changed? I keep trying to picture you in my mind, but to no avail. It’s as if slowly, I am forgetting how you look like, how you move, how you respond to the endless banters.

I didn’t think I could ever get to here – this blurry, uncertain of you, place where there’s a version of you that is a complete stranger to me.

 

And you will never get to see how I turned out.

But I know you will not be wondering. Everything, and everyone, is a tourist in your world. Nobody gets a permanent residency because that’s just your life policy.

If only I had the activist’s passion, then I would’ve raised a protest until you changed your established system. I would’ve fought like my heroes did against the dragons that are your rules.

But I enjoyed simply the arts and moved on after because there’s really nothing else left to do in your world.

 

We are the biggest what if, and I just know we are not the only ones asking this.